MEANING OF FANTASIA WHEN I SEE YOU HOW TO

'One point in time I was saying it was my fault вЂ“ just because of the way I was dressed, I caused it on myself,' Fantasia said. I wouldn't even go to school.'ДЇantasia finally told the truth to her mother and says the boy was disciplined, but it was Fantasia who suffered, blaming the incident on her own behavior. She says, 'Have you been touched?' I still said nothing,' said Fantasia. 'And my mom comes upstairs and she says, 'Something is wrong with you.' I wouldn't even talk. She claims he abused her in the school auditorium, and she went straight home and got into bed. She says in her memoir she was raped in the ninth grade by a popular boy on whom she had a crush.

Revealing She Was RapedДЇantasia also revealed another secret from her past.

MEANING OF FANTASIA WHEN I SEE YOU HOW TO

She's now determined to break the cycle of illiteracy for the sake of her daughter, and is working with tutors to learn how to read. She said when Zion asks her to read she brushes it off and tells her, 'Not right now.'Д«ut Fantasia said she can no longer wait for 'later.' She says the most difficult thing is that she cannot read a book to her 4-year-old daughter, Zion: 'That hurts really bad.' Since her 'American Idol' victory Fantasia has signed record deals and contracts she didn't read and couldn't understand. That means she has difficulty reading a street sign or newspaper, not to mention legal documents.

An estimated 25 million Americans are functionally illiterate вЂ“ that's one out of every five adults. 'It took her a long time to come out and tell me that,' said Fantasia.ДЇantasia and her mother are hardly the exceptions. Her family didn't notice she was struggling to read, especially because many of them had trouble, too, including her mom. She said her attitude was that she was 'not into education,' because she could sing. Growing up in a poor section of High Point, N.C., Fantasia always dreamed of becoming a pop star. Since most of the songs were familiar to her it worked, until show producers handed her a song she did not know: Gershwin's hit 'Summertime' from 'Porgy and Bess.'ДЄfraid the vocal coach would discover she couldn't read the lyrics, Fantasia listened to the words, memorized them and did such a good job the sultry tune became her theme song. 'Somebody would say, 'You know, it's pronounced this way' and I'd be like, 'Oh, I'm sorry, you know, I'm country, you know.'

So how was she able to perform on the scripted portions of 'American Idol'? Fantasia said she would fake it and apologize if she pronounced something incorrectly. She can barely make out or pronounce unfamiliar words. Reading even simple things, she acknowledges, is difficult. The singer describes herself as functionally illiterate, and is brutally honest about her challenges in her new memoir, 'Life is Not a Fairy Tale,' which she dictated to a freelance writer. 'I was so ashamed and I was like, 'What will people say about me?' I can't get a job,' she said.

Her illiteracy kept her from even trying to get a job before her stint on television. You don't want to misspell,' Fantasia told '20/20.' 'So that, for me, kept me вЂ¦ in a box and I didn't, wouldn't come out.' 'You're illiterate to just about everything. The singer, known to her fans as simply Fantasia, admits that while charming American television viewers and wooing the judges to become a pop star, she was hiding the fact that she was barely able to read or write.

Meaning of fantasia when i see you